My girls are missing out!

I tried and tried to find the perfect quote, peom or verus for what I have to say tonight and I had no luck. So, I am just going to share my feelings and my thoughts.
The older my girls get, the more I realize how they seemed to have got robbed when it comes to family. When I say this, I mean NO disrespect to the family members they do have! What I mean is that they do not have a typical family; mom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparent in which the are able to make a lifetime of memories with! Jasmine and MacKenzie have truly only had me and Neil and I hate that for them! As selfish as this may sound I need my family too and not always everyone elses. Family is suppose to be there for support, to be there for a backbone, to be there to help when mommy and daddy need a night out "once in a blue moon," to be there where mommy is sick "thank you marji", to be there when mommy just needs a little help! I have never had this, except from Neil's side of the family and gosh darn it I want it from mine!!!!! I don't ask for much and I never ask for help, but it would be nice for my girls to have someone they can pick up the phone and ask to spend the day with them, or ask to have dinner with them, or ask to spend the night with them. Or you know what would mean more, for a family member to call and ask to spend time with them!!!!!! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAS HAPPENED!!!!! I want my kids to have a family more extended then just an aunt here and there and a uncle here and there "not that I am not greatful"!
I always wanted high things from my mom when it came to my girls.... I wanted them to have a room at her house, for her to pick up the phone and her their voices on the other line saying "hi nana, can you come get me!" For her to come over every few days and us have family dinners together, for her to just come over whenever she wanted, walk in my front door without needing to knock, to be there just to talk to and do family events with us! BUT GUESS WHAT, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!!!
Yes, I do have my amazing brother in my life but he is 4 hours away and has his own family to take care of..... even though I know he would be here if I ever truly needed him. And YES, my father is back in my life, but he is even farther! I am not blaming anyone or trying to belittle anyone, these are just my feeling and I need to let them go. I am past the point of exhaustion and just feel like I can't breath anymore. I am just so tired of always feeling alone and never having my side of the family when I need them!!!! AND I DO NEED THEM! I need help, I need support, I need love... I NEED MY FAMILY! My kids need my family! My kids need more then just mommy and there is nothing I can do about that! It is not fair

Anger

"You have heard that it was said to people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement. Again, anyone who says to his brother, Raca. is answerable to the Sanhendrin. But anyone who says 'You fool!' will be in danger of fire and hell.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

In all reality, this is pretty difficult to abide. When you become angry, especially with someone it is so hard to try to forgive, forget, and move on! There have been so many people in my life who I have felt that have let me down and people who have hurt me in ways that are unforgivable in many eyes.... here is the thing it hurts the most when it is loved ones! and God expects for me not to hold anger! Well you know what, that is the least I can do for him! I must remember, "FOR IF YOU FORGIVE MEN WHEN THEY SIN AGAINST YOU, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO FORGIVE YOU. BUT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE MEN THEIR SINS, YOUR FATHER WILL NOT FORGIVE YOUR SINS!"

Am I perfect? NO!!!!! Do I make people angry, yes all the time! Do I do it intentionally, no! Do I want people to hate me and hold angry towards me, no! So, that means I must give that same respect in return! At this moment and from here on out my heart will be open to forgiveness! I will forgive family, I will forgive friends, I will forgive enemies; I ask my heavenly Father to please listen to heart and know that I am asking him to take all my anger away and allow me to continue to keep an open heart full of forgiveness! And I ask to whomever I have angered to PLEASE forgive me!