My girls are missing out!

I tried and tried to find the perfect quote, peom or verus for what I have to say tonight and I had no luck. So, I am just going to share my feelings and my thoughts.
The older my girls get, the more I realize how they seemed to have got robbed when it comes to family. When I say this, I mean NO disrespect to the family members they do have! What I mean is that they do not have a typical family; mom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparent in which the are able to make a lifetime of memories with! Jasmine and MacKenzie have truly only had me and Neil and I hate that for them! As selfish as this may sound I need my family too and not always everyone elses. Family is suppose to be there for support, to be there for a backbone, to be there to help when mommy and daddy need a night out "once in a blue moon," to be there where mommy is sick "thank you marji", to be there when mommy just needs a little help! I have never had this, except from Neil's side of the family and gosh darn it I want it from mine!!!!! I don't ask for much and I never ask for help, but it would be nice for my girls to have someone they can pick up the phone and ask to spend the day with them, or ask to have dinner with them, or ask to spend the night with them. Or you know what would mean more, for a family member to call and ask to spend time with them!!!!!! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAS HAPPENED!!!!! I want my kids to have a family more extended then just an aunt here and there and a uncle here and there "not that I am not greatful"!
I always wanted high things from my mom when it came to my girls.... I wanted them to have a room at her house, for her to pick up the phone and her their voices on the other line saying "hi nana, can you come get me!" For her to come over every few days and us have family dinners together, for her to just come over whenever she wanted, walk in my front door without needing to knock, to be there just to talk to and do family events with us! BUT GUESS WHAT, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!!!
Yes, I do have my amazing brother in my life but he is 4 hours away and has his own family to take care of..... even though I know he would be here if I ever truly needed him. And YES, my father is back in my life, but he is even farther! I am not blaming anyone or trying to belittle anyone, these are just my feeling and I need to let them go. I am past the point of exhaustion and just feel like I can't breath anymore. I am just so tired of always feeling alone and never having my side of the family when I need them!!!! AND I DO NEED THEM! I need help, I need support, I need love... I NEED MY FAMILY! My kids need my family! My kids need more then just mommy and there is nothing I can do about that! It is not fair

Anger

"You have heard that it was said to people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement. Again, anyone who says to his brother, Raca. is answerable to the Sanhendrin. But anyone who says 'You fool!' will be in danger of fire and hell.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

In all reality, this is pretty difficult to abide. When you become angry, especially with someone it is so hard to try to forgive, forget, and move on! There have been so many people in my life who I have felt that have let me down and people who have hurt me in ways that are unforgivable in many eyes.... here is the thing it hurts the most when it is loved ones! and God expects for me not to hold anger! Well you know what, that is the least I can do for him! I must remember, "FOR IF YOU FORGIVE MEN WHEN THEY SIN AGAINST YOU, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO FORGIVE YOU. BUT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE MEN THEIR SINS, YOUR FATHER WILL NOT FORGIVE YOUR SINS!"

Am I perfect? NO!!!!! Do I make people angry, yes all the time! Do I do it intentionally, no! Do I want people to hate me and hold angry towards me, no! So, that means I must give that same respect in return! At this moment and from here on out my heart will be open to forgiveness! I will forgive family, I will forgive friends, I will forgive enemies; I ask my heavenly Father to please listen to heart and know that I am asking him to take all my anger away and allow me to continue to keep an open heart full of forgiveness! And I ask to whomever I have angered to PLEASE forgive me!

Worrying; to do or not to do?

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you have little faith? So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Wow, I don't even know where to start today! "WORRYING" hummm...... this should have been a huge part of my name! I worry about everything as everyone who knows me knows. However, the thing I worry about mostly is money! Why? To be honest, I am not sure why? God has always blessed us when times become a little scary, but yet, I still find myself questioning how are we going to make, how are we going to keep feeding our family, how are we going to pay our bills, how are we going to be able to take care of the girls?!!! Silly isn't it?! Here is a scary realization; we ALL do it! At one time or another in our life, we all worry about something and we shouldn't! God tells us NOT to worry because he will always take care of us, so why can't we listen, trust, and honor him?!
My goal from here on out is to put my faith in my heavenly Father! Trust him to take my worries and provide for me and my family the way he feels is necessary. He has yet to let me down, but I still let him down by worrying everyday! Jesus, taught me about worrying and now it is time for me to use his lesson in my life! JENNIFER LEE FOLEY, STOP WORRYING!!!!!

Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord. But I tell you, Do not swear at all; either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black . Simply let your "Yes" be "Yes," and your "No" be "No"; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
I married one of God's greatest men; on July 29, 2006 and his name is, Nelson Neil Foley! Was I afraid, yes....but am I now, NO! God couldn't have blessed me with a better man! We have had our trying times and probably time where we both wanted to give up and walk away, but no matter what, we have kept strong and worked through it. Life has thrown ALOT of life changing curve balls at us, especially me, but no matter what Neil has been there to walk beside me through it all! He has kept me strong when I felt weak, he has kept me calm when I felt overwhelmed, he has giving me a reason for happiness when I could find it..... he has been my heart, my soul, my life even when I may have not wanted him to be! He has loved me even when I couldn't find reasons to love myself. He has been my husband and has honored his vows to me in every way, shape, and form! And these are the reasons why I am proud to say I am married to Nelson Neil Foley! Thank you for that! I love you <3

New changes have started today!!!!

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened"
The Lord has opened a new door to my life and I can't express how amazing I feel right now! I have been offered a job at family preservation for this school year, however it may take a while to get the whole process completed. So, until then I am planning on continuing at Garden City but moving to 3rd grade. This is a decision that has been weighing me down and causing a lot of negative stress because I LOVED my previous job, especially the person I worked under!!! I was so afraid of how this person would react towards my decision, I worried about her hating me, being disappointed in me...etc! But I needed to do what was right for me and for my family, so accepting my new position and soon to be new job is something I am going to do with no more fears or worries! I am going to do it with happiness and excitement and pray that others will do so with me! With all that said, I praise God for allowing me, my family, and all my amazing friends to wake up on this beautiful Tuesday!

Something changed inside of me today

I don't even know where to start or how to explain what I am feeling right now! I just feel the need to allow others to partake in the transformation of my spiritual life. I have been a lost soul on this earth for two years now due to the loss of my mother and the loss of my faith. This is not what I want any more....
I want to sing, dance, smile, laugh,...... I want to be happy! I want to love myself again, to love my mother again and stop blaming the both of us for something that can not be change! I can not do this until I forgive myself and my mother and ask God to please take all my sadness, tears, heartaches, angry away from me! I am done with Lord so I ask you to please take it away and allow me to enjoy the life that you have truly blessed me with!
This is just the beginning........everyday I will be posting the changes I have made in my life and also how this positive changes will effect my family, friends, and myself. But remember I need you help!